From aggressive boy to happy child, quickly!

Gloria*, Sonoma County, USA 

It was just starting to get really difficult; he was in his twos about to turn three and there was a lot of struggle between him and I.  It was always a hassle to get him to listen to me when we went places,  having to pick up his toys, having him sit down and eat dinner with us or when we’re at the table. I just needed to find an outlet something, something that could help me.

 

He was hitting me. He was hitting little girls in his class. I think it was just for attention but he was just really aggressive;  that was a really big issue.

 

I was worried that like this was just going to be a part of his personality, like being so aggressive and it scared me, cause, you know, I don’t want my son to grow up to be like someone who hits, you know?

 

(I started Triple P) and he immediately started changing. The dynamics between the two of us was a positive energy,  more happy. Instead of me telling him ‘you can’t do that’ it was more like ‘oh great job, good job walking with me’.  It made made him more happy, I could tell.

 

And I feel more confident in my parenting ways because I know that the ways are working.

An incredible amount of practical information

Thomas*, Glasgow, Scotland

My name is Thomas and my wife, Christine, and I took part in Triple P. We have two children Aaron, 22 months and Mary, 6 months. My wife and I gained an incredible amount of practical information given in a friendly non-invasive environment.

 

The advice was presented in an easy-to-understand format and supported well by video. Having the sections broken down into completable weekly tasks really helped Christine and I approach the guidance of our children in a steady manner. Many of the changes suggested were really changes in our parenting rather than forcing something unreasonable upon the children.

 

We have been pleasantly surprised by how well our children behave both in our company and with babysitters. Although they're far from being angels we now have the tools to control potentially explosive situations and I think that helps for a more relaxing and predictable home life. And happy children.

 

My wife and I share the same childhood experiences of alcoholism and family breakup and we didn't want to recreate those experiences for our children. Having no positive parental input on my part (Christine has a strong relationship with her mother) really came to the fore with the birth of Mary and I'm glad to say Triple P came along just at the right time.

The difference is unbelievable

Janine, Barrie, Ontario, Canada

The difference in our home is unbelievable. We have a three-and-a-half-year-old son. He stays with his grandma through the day while we work. We come to Triple P together. When we started coming we were at opposite ends of the parenting spectrum. Now we are almost united in the middle.

 

My husband is less dictatorial. I am less lenient. Our child is less confused and frustrated. Before coming to Triple P my son cried and cried each day because he did not want to come back home with us at the end of the day. He wanted to stay with Grandma. It broke my heart. Now my son gets excited and asks to come home every day.

I hope that more parents can get this support

Isaura, Curacao, Netherlands Antilles

I hope that more parents can get this support, so that they can be better mothers for their children. At the start I wondered if this course had come too late in my life. And now I have the answer to that: absolutely not!

 

It's never too late to learn how you can be a better person and a better mother and to recognize mistakes and make things right again. From the bottom of my heart, thank you! I'm convinced that I'm a different person now and a different mother, compared to what I was eight weeks ago.

I used to think I had the only child like that

Sandra, Bradford, England

My son is 11 and has learning difficulties and I'm a single parent. We were always at loggerheads. I've done Triple P twice. I used the Group as a refresher course. I liked the small group because I used to think I had the only child like that. When I saw other parents who are worse off, I knew that, at the end of the day, I wasn't the only one out there with problems.

 

Triple P has given me a lot more confidence. Before, I wasn't able to talk to anybody about the problems. My confidence was going down. This helped to deal with that.

 

The different strategies I learned, I brought them home. Since I've learnt to talk to my son in an appropriate way his behavior has improved at school too. It used to be that three days a week he'd be sent home from school. His behavior got that bad - like pinching girls' bottoms -- he was going to get himself into trouble.

 

Even the way I deal with things is different. I used to take all his stuff off him and he'd rebel. Now I take one thing off him and he knows it's going to happen. He handles it. Then there are strategies such as computer use. Ten minutes before computer time is up, I give him a prompt. He knows it will be time to finish up. There's been the odd little blip, but it's just much calmer.

 

I wish we could have done Triple P (when he was) in primary school. It could have prevented a lot of problems.

It helps to keep parents and kids together

Timothy, Yorkshire, England

I'm a single dad, my son Jack is 11. Jack was getting into trouble at home and at school. My social worker came around with the Triple P video. When it started I was very aggressive. I thought they (social workers) were against me. You know, you're worried they were trying to take the kids off you. But now I see they want to keep parents and kids together.

 

I did 16 sessions (of Group and Enhanced Triple P) and Jack got better and better. It worked wonders.

Me and Jack used to have loads and loads of anger. Before Triple P I was doing two to three days of carrying on an argument. I think Jack must have gone through hell with me. I wouldn't let the subject drop. I kept going on and on and on. Now the relationship is 200...300...400 percent better! We'll still find something to argue about -- but we'll get over it. And I can sit down and have a conversation and not blow my top!

 

We have become friends. It's a fantastic experience I've had. There's light at the end of the tunnel.

Triple P respected my culture

Duong, Brisbane, Australia

My wife and I have two children, a boy, 9, and a girl, 5. In Vietnamese culture we just follow our parents but times change and (because we are) living in a new country we need to adapt and learn new techniques.

 

In the course you have the chance to talk and share with other parents. I strongly recommend and encourage parents, both mums and dads, to do it. It respected my culture. There was nothing in it against my culture.

I hope all families who have a child with a disability have the opportunity to do Stepping Stones Triple P

Cathy, Gold Coast, Australia

I am the mother of a six-and-a-half-year-old boy (Robert), who is autistic. We were going through a very rough patch with Robert when we started (Stepping Stones Triple P) and I was being hit or he would dig his nails into me and I had a lot of scratches from him. Going to the shops was becoming impossible and if he had a tantrum people would stare and it would make the shopping trip very difficult and highly stressful.

 

Triple P showed us ways to control the behavior and taught us that getting into a routine would make our lives easier and better. It all sounded so simple and the best part was that once we put into practice what we were taught at each session, it did actually work!

 

Before Triple P we devoted every waking minute to Robert. I had given up work and ...had no opportunity to meet other people. I thought the only meaningful thing I would do with my life would be looking after Robert. Triple P taught me that I could still contribute to the community and they showed me how important it was that I make time for myself and still have time for Robert.

 

I wish I could show you what Robert is like today and how much he has changed from when we began the Triple P program. If you saw us out today, you wouldn't think he was the same child. As for me, well I can now go to work without worrying about whether or not I am doing the right thing.

 

I just hope that all families who have a child with a disability have the opportunity to (do Stepping Stones) as our family is living proof that it can make a huge difference to their lives.

 

*all names have been changed to protect privacy